Friday, October 31, 2003
Must...cut...speaker...wires...now. Yes, transforming 101.1 XFM into 101.1 FRANKfm on Halloween was a cute trick. (The jarring overnight switch from "new rock alternative" to "number one hits from the last 35 years" was anything but a treat.) Yes, supporting a charity -- "If you want the curse to end, call 750-1011 and make a donation to the Candlelighters." -- was a nice touch. Yes, we've all had a good laugh, and maybe even pledged some cash.
Now put it back, you sadists! Have you heard what you're playing? I'm going to have Olivia Newton-John in my head for days! You might as well have linked to a suicide hotline, you sick bastards! (Insert slight foaming at the mouth here.)
Say, didn't XFM come into being when its progenitor changed format in an eerily similar fashion? Could Rogers be using a charitable prank as a smoke screen for market research? Is Friday's frightful FRANK foretelling of a forcible format fix? Remember, just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean the company isn't plotting against us.
Follow-up: It was indeed a Halloween-only aberration. I still don't trust Rogers, though.
posted by media_dystopia @ 12:01 [ link | top | home ]
Thursday, October 30, 2003
What is this, 1759? I have seen the enemy, and he is Yves Rocheleau of the Bloc Québécois. On this eighth anniversary of the Quebec referendum, the separatists are coming out of the woodwork to remind the rest of Canada that they're still pricks of the highest order.
That's all I'll say on this subject because the I can taste the bile already.
posted by media_dystopia @ 23:30 [ link | top | home ]
There's a chill in the air. Just ask bloggers Atrios (via Blogdex) and Michael Hanscom (also via Blogdex). You'll notice that news of these incidents coincided with me adorning my template with the icons of Electronic Frontier Foundation and Electronic Frontier Canada's respective blue ribbon campaigns -- not that they'll protect me when a subject of a post wants to sue me or my employer wants to fire me. Still, a free-speech placebo is better than nothing.
Follow-up: Three months later, I decided to remove the icons. Using someone else's bandwidth doesn't prove one's support of free speech -- freely speaking does. The blog in and of itself is a testament to free speech.
posted by media_dystopia @ 17:14 [ link | top | home ]
Monday, October 27, 2003
I'm a psychoanalyst's wet dream, aren't I? I can't explain why Jennifer Austin was replaced by Kristen Johnston as co-host of Daytime on Ottawa's Rogers Television. What I do know is that if left to my imagination, I will conjure up all manner of sordid explanations.
Perhaps a flurry of obscene language and gestures culminating in some brief nudity. Perhaps an ugly slapping incident involving co-host Jeff Mauler and a small dog. Perhaps an hour of flashing twin devil signs and yelling "Ozzy rules!" into the camera. Perhaps a loud and grotesque declaration of war against Rinaldo Hair Designers & Spa for a bad bang job. Perhaps a loud and grotesque declaration of war against her husband for a bad bang job. (Insert lascivious grin here.) Perhaps...well, you get the picture.
Notice that my imagination tends toward the abrupt sacking of an on-air personality following an "incident" on live television. I can dream, can't I?
posted by media_dystopia @ 11:19 [ link | top | home ]
The slave was shown how to be weak and powerless. Congratulations to A Perfect Circle's "Weak and Powerless" for bumping Audioslave's "Show Me How to Live" out of the number one spot on 101.1 XFM's New Rock 22 countdown. And to think, that song is nowhere near the best on Thirteenth Step; more like APC's attempt to throw stations a radio-length bone -- one that's Mer de Noms-ish and somewhat album-bridging -- and butter them up for the really good stuff.
posted by media_dystopia @ 02:59 [ link | top | home ]
Saturday, October 25, 2003
If the music thing falls through, there's always the circus. Could the members of Good Charlotte be any more obvious with their affectations? Just wondering.
posted by media_dystopia @ 13:40 [ link | top | home ]
Will I soon be counting bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drums? I left Mojo Radio AM640's streaming on overnight and caught a repeat of The Jim Rome Show in the morning. Besides a rather amusing critique of the 2003 Rock Paper Scissors International Championships -- as if Toronto didn't have enough to put it on the map this year -- the syndicated sports-talk program included a brief lead-in to or from a commercial (whatever the proper radio terminology may be) featuring A Perfect Circle's "Pet." Could this be a sign of things to come? Will that marvelous song be the next single as hoped?
posted by media_dystopia @ 11:26 [ link | top | home ]
Full-on ellipsis schism. Like the dash (--) before it, deep down inside, I know I'm committing a crime against the ellipsis (...). However, according to The Canadian Press Stylebook (12th Edition) and The Associated Press Guide to Punctuation, I'm within journalistic law -- assuming you ignore the fact that my dots have no spacing.
CP and AP have your back so long as you use the punctuation within quotes or quoted text, whether for omission, trailing off, or hesitation. Once you leave the realm of quotations, though, you're on your own, left to rot in a nether region of discordant ellipsis usage bolstered by conflicting Web-based style guides. (Can you sense the frustration?) You're left wondering, for instance, whether the four-dot ellipsis -- one that uses an end mark, such as a period -- is appropriate for the words you compose rather than quote. I, for one, am developing a keen sense a paranoia over my pseudo-trailing off.
If it's any consolation to my grammatically sensitive psyche, my bastardized style is somewhat consistent.
Follow-up: Less than a week later, I made some changes to my ellipses according to Merriam-Webster Unabridged's style guide; specifically, ellipsis dots are "usually not used to indicate the omission of words that precede the quoted portion" unless introduced with a colon, and there is no end mark if they're used to indicate "faltering speech, especially if the faltering involves a long pause or a sentence that trails off or is intentionally left unfinished" or "a quotation (that) has been intentionally left unfinished." Confused yet?
posted by media_dystopia @ 04:33 [ link | top | home ]
Friday, October 24, 2003
Sure, pick that scab. I was thinking of playing SOE's Star Wars Galaxies, but the whole notion of the upcoming Syphon Filter: The Omega Strain including a mission where Quebec separatists take over the Toronto subway -- even though the controversial segment's omission was just announced -- turned my stomach to the point of not wanting to give the company any more money. Granted, I revile sovereigntists just as much as the next federalist Canadian; still, having my political animus trivialized by a video game doesn't sit well with me.
Then again, what do American game designers working for a Japanese company know or care about the pain and suffering Canada has been through because of the Quebec sovereignty movement?
Follow-up: Make that, "Canada goes through...." (Good riddance to the MLNQ shitheads who "kill themselves because they are occupied.")
posted by media_dystopia @ 15:15 [ link | top | home ]
Hooray for popularity! Lost in Translation is lost no more. The film has finally hit Ottawa theaters; three of them, at least -- but they're scattered evenly across the city so it's okay. Visit Tribute.ca for showtimes. Yes, I suppose you could look them up in the newspaper as well. What are you, some kind of neo-Luddite?
posted by media_dystopia @ 14:22 [ link | top | home ]
Thursday, October 23, 2003
Johnny Mnemonic I am not. I could have sworn that Sloan played the 1993 frosh week concert at Concordia University in Montreal. However, my attempts to confirm it have thus far been in vain. I'm beginning to wonder if my brain is playing tricks on me; that or experiencing a long-term fart. Did I make it up? Did I dream it? How many melon balls with Molson Canadian chasers did I have that night? There have been too many unanswered questions for too long, so today I used the band's contact form to ask the question once and for all: did they or didn't they? Tell me, dammit!
Stay tuned...
posted by media_dystopia @ 16:19 [ link | top | home ]
Don't worry, I'll add it to my decorative shirt collection. It took some coordinating with FedEx, but I finally received my free Blogger Hoodie. Thank you. I don't actually wear hoodies -- and, silly me, I chose one size too small -- but thank you.
posted by media_dystopia @ 11:15 [ link | top | home ]
Wednesday, October 22, 2003
How not to improve one's self-esteem. At the time, I thought that dumbing down the chess program was a stroke of genius; surely handicapping the computer would improve my odds. Alas, the sad realization that even with the difficulty level set to "beginner" -- the level where I figure out that I'm about to be checkmated before my electronic opponent does -- the best I could manage was a three-move draw. How pitiful.
Although rather amusing to the rest of you. (Insert sneer here.)
posted by media_dystopia @ 01:35 [ link | top | home ]
Monday, October 20, 2003
Who's back? Hinterland Who's Who, that's who! Woohoo! (Insert "hauntingly familiar flute melody" here.)
I'm not dating myself, am I?
posted by media_dystopia @ 21:15 [ link | top | home ]
Sunday, October 19, 2003
This is what happens when you talk about aliens. The other aliens, that is.
There could have been any number of perfectly reasonable explanations as to why 580 CFRA took Coast to Coast AM with George Noory off the air. Perhaps the station's blackout coverage reminded night-owl listeners of the importance of local call-in shows. Perhaps repeated surveys substantiated the show's poor ratings and its unsuitability for the Ottawa radio market. Perhaps some CFRA bigwig's second cousin's best friend's sister's boyfriend didn't like it...or wanted a job in radio -- "Oh, and look, we suddenly have a position for you!"
Personally, I always figured that the show's days were numbered given the talk radio station's mandate to provide Ottawa/Canadian listeners with Ottawa/Canadian talk -- and let's face it, C2C's brand of U.S.-based paranormality didn't qualify. (Still, it was upsetting to see it go.)
What I didn't expect, though, was that the show was in contravention of Canadian law in how it portrayed certain religious and ethnic groups -- those the American media might conceivably, and reprehensibly, target post-9-11 -- as indicated by CFRA's Web page:
Hello Fans of Coast to Coast AM
We have received a great response from many loyal listeners to George Noory and Art Bell, hosts of the radio program Coast to Coast am.
Unfortunately Coast to Coast is gone from CFRA for good. It is an excellent program enjoyed by many. The problem is that some of its content violates the Canadian Broadcast Act, specifically its portrayal and comments regarding Muslims, Arabs and other identifiable groups.
We worked with the program's distributor and originator to try and ensure the content stayed away from some of the problem areas. It worked for a while, then fell back into areas that violate the Broadcast Act and Canadian Broadcast Standards Council guidelines.
Thank you for your understanding with regards to this issue, and to your continued listening to CFRA.
Dave Mitchell
Program Director
580 CFRA
Unfortunately, being neither a legal expert nor a broadcaster, and not having heard every word of C2C, I cannot say for sure whether the show was in violation as implied. What I do know is that CFRA and CFRA alone made this determination, given that none of the other Canadian affiliates -- CHQR, CHED, CJBK, CKTB, CFMJ (aka Mojo Radio AM640, which touts C2C as "Canada's number one late-night talk show" and "Canada's favorite late show"), CFUN, CFAX, CKLW, and CJOB -- have followed suit (according to their current schedules).
I also know that CFRA was remiss in not communicating its decision -- one based on public regulations -- to, and soliciting feedback from, the public in a timely manner. It was also lax in not indicating, at that time, which specific laws, codes, or guidelines, down to the paragraph, were violated. (The program director's message is vague in this regard; from my lay perspective, the Radio Regulations, 1986 -- specifically, the Broadcast Content section -- are more on point that the Broadcasting Act, although I do agree that the Canadian Broadcasting Standards Council's guidelines -- specifically, the human rights clause of the CAB Code of Ethics -- are appropriate.) Transcripts of the offending broadcasts or some other proof of their existence would also have been appreciated.
Keep in mind that CFRA is home to notorious blowhard Lowell Green, a man who has repeatedly appeared on the CBSC's radar screen (as evidenced by the council's decisions). How's about this gem from July, 1997, regarding the killing of civilians by Canadian soldiers in Somalia:
...I mean after all, let's face it, it was only a couple of Somalis. What's all the fuss about? I mean we're talking about a couple of Somalis here, for God's sake. Okay? Come on, come on, come on. All this fuss, all this expense, over a couple of Somalis....
Far be it for me to suggest a double standard.
Follow-up: How's that for a bit of verbose prolixity?
posted by media_dystopia @ 23:26 [ link | top | home ]
Saturday, October 18, 2003
Site of the moment: Friends of Canadian Broadcasting.
Many thanks to Kady of wwwaif.net -- fellow Ottawa blogger and, dare I say, hottie -- for bringing the organization's hilarious PSAs to my attention. (Ironically, I caught one of the Tell Canadian Stories TV spots as I was editing this post.)
posted by media_dystopia @ 08:55 [ link | top | home ]
Friday, October 17, 2003
Spare me the hero complex. It's official: JAG has gone off the deep end. The CBS show, although still watchable (barely), has become tiresome of late. It's bad enough having a bunch of military lawyers off saving the world; now the lead character is a military-lawyer-turned-CIA-agent off saving the world. I say it's time to ditch the rah rah rah bullshit and get back to the basics -- like, say, having the characters do what Judge Advocate General lawyers do.
posted by media_dystopia @ 22:14 [ link | top | home ]
Oh the shame! The Team 1200 has informants everywhere. They scour Ottawa for people like me -- sick individuals who use live Web streaming to tune in Toronto's Mojo Radio AM640, the "Home of the Leafs." My treason includes, but is not limited to, The John Oakley Show and Krystal Live, enemy broadcasts rife with rabid blue-shirt boosterism. If I'm discovered, my friends and family will shun me, and the Senators will dispatch enforcers to confiscate my flags.
Please don't tell anyone.
posted by media_dystopia @ 09:36 [ link | top | home ]
I don't just use it to find women I knew in university, you know. My Googling has increased exponentially since I began using the Advanced Search to determine correct language usage. I do it so often these days that I really should have a name for it. How's about...grammoogling? For instance, I grammoogled the phrases "to be crippled" and "to become crippled" when writing the follow-up to the October 15 post.
posted by media_dystopia @ 07:17 [ link | top | home ]
Post-9-11, he's complaining about us? I caught Jonah "Bomb Canada" Goldberg on tonight's repeat episode of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. He kept prefacing his right-wing political views with the phrase "on principle." I'm glad he did because he'll understand when I say that, on principle, he can kiss my Canadian ass.
Now to get my teeth to stop gritting.
posted by media_dystopia @ 03:30 [ link | top | home ]
Thursday, October 16, 2003
I'm nothing if not an agitator. I was thinking of writing an open letter -- à la Wil Wheaton -- to the infamous foul ball-deflecting fan, then I remembered that I don't give a shit about baseball. Nevertheless, I do have a message for Chicago Cubs fans: real men catch pucks. (Insert chortling here.)
posted by media_dystopia @ 06:37 [ link | top | home ]
Wednesday, October 15, 2003
Where Matt Good and The Hip aren't imports. Finally, a Canadian online music download service: Puretracks.
Not that I download music, mind you; I'm one of those archaic and decidedly uncool people who buys things called "compact discs." I mention yesterday's launch because as a citizen of the Great White North, I appreciate those rare sites that promote Canadian products and -- gasp! -- list Canadian prices.
That and I believe in putting my love of music, and support for musicians, where my wallet is (irrespective of how annoyed I am with exorbitant CD prices). To me, purchasing music is having a say; it's like voting in an election, except that I get to send a message to a record company instead: "Yes, I believe in this band. Please give it more money and the freedom to make the music I like."
Puretracks is, therefore, a welcome addition to the industry.
Follow-up: So welcome, in fact, that it took less than two days for the service to be crippled by its own popularity: "Thank you for visiting Puretracks.com. Due to overwhelming publicity, our store is currently at full capacity. Please return shortly. Thanks again for visiting." (Said sheepishly, I imagine.)
posted by media_dystopia @ 03:44 [ link | top | home ]
Tuesday, October 14, 2003
I am the world's worst chess player. No, really. I learned to play before I was a teenager, but lost so many times to my friends and family that I abandoned the infuriating game. The years that followed saw me develop quite an aversion to chess, figuring it as an elaborate mental test -- one that I continually fail -- invented by some sadistic turd in India or China.
Two decades later, though, I decided (stupidly) to give it another try; last week, I downloaded Pawn 2.12, a freeware chess program. Since then, I've heard the word "check" so many times from my speech-enabled computer opponent that I feel like a hockey player. I don't know the names of any of my gambits, but I do know that none of them work. (Ever been checkmated after three moves? How pathetic is that?)
A hundred games later and my 20-year-old losing streak is, sadly, intact. Say, isn't the definition of insanity to repeat the same thing over and over expecting a different outcome? Sigh.
posted by media_dystopia @ 01:32 [ link | top | home ]
Monday, October 13, 2003
Happy Thanksgiving! For Canadians, that is. Unlike Americans, we celebrate it on the second Monday in October instead of the fourth Thursday in November. Why earlier? The thanks given here -- a trend set by English explorer Martin Frobisher in 1578 -- were traditionally for the bountiful harvest, and given its northern climes, Canada has an earlier harvest season. Et voilà.
While I'm at it, educationally speaking, here's something my fellow Canucks may not know and may wish to ponder as they gorge themselves on gallinaceous fowl: I have it on good authority that turkey are cunning and, dare I say, wily prey. (Cunning enough to end up on my plate, apparently. Pass the gravy.)
posted by media_dystopia @ 07:00 [ link | top | home ]
Saturday, October 11, 2003
I'm praying Timbits are next. Imagine my joy when I read the Tim Hortons Nutrition Guide (170 KB PDF) and discovered that my beloved Iced Cappuccino contains only 1.5 grams of fat per 10 ounces when made with two-percent milk. Even better news: I always have my addiction made with one-percent chocolate milk, so it actually contains less fat than that. Woohoo! It also has less caffeine than the same amount of coffee (although that's not necessarily a good thing).
Suffice it to say, this is great news for those of us who are on low-fat diets. Our sneers may yet turn to smiles!
posted by media_dystopia @ 05:54 [ link | top | home ]
Friday, October 10, 2003
Late-night walks, minus the paranormal. Ever since 580 CFRA plucked Coast to Coast AM with George Noory from Ottawa's airwaves -- the bastards! -- I've had to get my fix courtesy of Toronto's Mojo Radio AM640 and its live Web streaming. Hearing an interview about, say, Sasquatch -- not to be confused with an interview with Sasquatch (the show's wacky, but not that wacky) -- will now be confined to a 10-foot radius around my computer; twenty feet if I turn the volume up.
And no, I'm not done grumbling about this injustice. (Who me bitter?)
posted by media_dystopia @ 05:44 [ link | top | home ]
Wednesday, October 08, 2003
There's no spammer like a late spammer. I received a spam e-mail this afternoon with the subject line "Help Arnold terminate Grey Davis." It was plugging a T-shirt featuring a black and white image of the Terminator's face with the words "ARNOLD FOR GOVERNOR" above it and "VOTE FOR ME IF YOU WANT TO LIVE" below it. Cute. After the vote, but cute.
And it's "Gray" not "Grey," you spamming fuck-wit.
posted by media_dystopia @ 23:36 [ link | top | home ]
Congratulations, Ahnold. On being added to my shit list, that is. (Worried about being PNGed? Don't be -- your movies aren't worth watching in the first place.)
Now that Arnold "I'm going to terminate 'runaway productions'" Schwarzenegger and his blame-Canada attitude have prevailed in California, I think Canadians should be circumspect when renting movies and going to the movie theater. As Canadian consumers, we should be wary when asked to spend good money on post-recall, made-in-California entertainment products. We should also be keenly aware of how Canada is affected employment- and money-wise by the governor-elect's anti-Hollywood North campaign.
I realize the man mangles the English language, but it's clear from his sound bites that he blames Canadians -- enthusiastic patrons of the motion-picture arts if ever there were any -- for his state's movie-industry woes. So much so that I wonder whether fellow Canada-hater Robert Duvall will be appointed lieutenant governor. With a tag-team like that, no Hollywood production will ever set foot in this country again.
Perhaps someone on the Kennedy side of the family should remind their Republican in-law that patronage begets patronage -- and that rhetoric begets rhetoric. (Even that famed clan of Democrats knows to duck when slinging mud.)
posted by media_dystopia @ 12:43 [ link | top | home ]
Tuesday, October 07, 2003
There is no higher praise. A Perfect Circle's Thirteenth Step has yet to leave my CD player. I can't get enough of it!
posted by media_dystopia @ 07:09 [ link | top | home ]
Canuck swag, eh? Patriots.ca: "The Proud to be Canadian Store."
posted by media_dystopia @ 01:36 [ link | top | home ]
Monday, October 06, 2003
He did get his groove on with Ensign Lefler, after all. My voting habits notwithstanding, I've decided to add Wil Wheaton's blog to my blogroll. Just call it an instance of me listening to my inner geek -- and Dan Gillmor. (Via FARK.com.)
posted by media_dystopia @ 11:56 [ link | top | home ]
Sunday, October 05, 2003
I couldn't stand looking at it anymore. I updated the blog's layout and changed its tagline from "Sometimes eating at the media buffet makes me barf. This is my bucket." to "My writing, right or wrong. Mostly wrong." If I had any design skills to speak of, I would create a site that was more than just visually tolerable. I don't, therefore, I can't. My apologies.
posted by media_dystopia @ 04:05 [ link | top | home ]
Saturday, October 04, 2003
Because breasts are good and cancer is bad. The Second Annual Blogger Boobie-Thon for Breast Cancer. Drop by. Drool. Donate. (Via FARK.com.)
posted by media_dystopia @ 01:02 [ link | top | home ]
Friday, October 03, 2003
So much for my late-night obsession. 580 CFRA, in its infinite wisdom, has removed Coast to Coast AM with George Noory from its schedule. (Although, the station is still listed as a Canadian affiliate, making me wonder whether anyone bothered to tell the show.) In its place: Last Call, a collegiate-sounding phone-in show hosted by Adam Grachnik and Katherine Lemay -- two people who do their best to sound and act like radio neophytes -- and on the weekends, something called "Special Programming." Both are just what I need in lieu of fascinating discussions of the off-beat and paranormal. Thanks, CFRA. (Warning: sarcasm alert.)
posted by media_dystopia @ 02:56 [ link | top | home ]
Thursday, October 02, 2003
Ontario goes to the polls. If you haven't voted yet, please do so now. What, you don't like democracy? I can suggest some places to live if you don't appreciate having a say.
As for my own voting, I did manage to eliminate one party using my previously stated strategy, but then had to narrow the other two down based on electoral district incumbency and opposition party positioning. (Complicated enough for you?) I won't say who I voted for, but I will say that the decision was made at the last minute.
Now it's time to kick back with a beer and some microwave popcorn and enjoy the magic that is election night. I love watching those numbers change on the screen. There's nothing like tracking a landslide in real time -- not that I'm suggesting that's what's going to happen tonight.
And no, I won't be stenoblogging the election results. I will, however, be basking in them.
Follow-up: Liberal landslide. So long, Ernie. Sorry, Howard. (Results: CBC; CTV.)
posted by media_dystopia @ 18:20 [ link | top | home ]
Wednesday, October 01, 2003
Only if we're fooled into thinking it's good. Seeing as though Foolproof is an all-around Canadian movie, I think we should -- gasp! -- pay to see it in the theater, en masse, in a show of national pride. Oh come on, just one night, say yes to Telefilm Canada and no to Hollywood. While you're at it, take your popcorn to heart (pardon the pun) and say yes to Becel and no to butter. Except for the dairy farmers, we'll all be better for it. Assuming, of course, that the movie doesn't suck.
Say, how big of an assumption is that? (Said with an eyebrow raised towards Alliance Atlantis and Odeon Films.)
posted by media_dystopia @ 23:47 [ link | top | home ]
From Hogtown to Bytown. Ironically, returning home means going from dial-up to high-speed Internet. (Sorry, am I being too oblique with my irony?)
posted by media_dystopia @ 23:12 [ link | top | home ]